Humanoid Dersite Serenity blog.

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Checking In

justicedraconian:

"Yes! Wait. No. Maybe?"

She cackles and grins, not making any attempt to lower her voice. If the cab driver it happened to hadn’t already passed the word around the company, she was pretty sure this guy would. Had to keep up appearances, afterall.

"I tried hailing with my cane, but it didn’t work, so I shot a flare gun at the cab and then they loaned it to me! It even worked when I brought it back! Everyone wins!”

It’s possible it was missing a door, and had some bullet holes, and a new stain on the front bumper. That didn’t mean it couldn’t drive though, and she thought war wounds were a badge of honor! Or at least proof of durability.

"Yes yes! Right next to a shop that I went to. Once. For a thing. It smelled delicious! Not just red-delicious, but other delicious."

The kind that other people thought of? How to…tell someone…the kind of…non-color-smell? The smell that isn’t a smell? Or…forget it. She could decide for herself.

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Serenity grinned, laughing lightly at the story, and then slowly a little harder. Ahh, it was good to laugh after how stressful the meeting with Crowbar had been. She felt so much better now.

"Hahaha…of course, Porosi. I know what you mean. I’m sure it’ll be the tops, eh? Terrors know what’ll happen to ‘em if it ain’t, eh?"

She allowed herself to lapse into slightly less formal speech. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been able to do that. She’d been all business for quite a while now.

When the cab finally stopped, she made good on her promise to herself to make sure the driver received a generous tip, though he seemed to be willing to leave with nothing at all. Anything that would get him as far away as possible as quickly as possible.

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(Source: lightofdemocracy)

The Crack Shot and The Mayor, who can’t shoot for shit.

wistfulvanguard:

A little shaken he looked to his wonderful assistant; she’d praised his performance! That meant the world to him, he’d believed he’d be awful, a rickety mess, but he’d proved himself wrong and aimed true. Perplexed at her words in regards to modifications he enquired her.

“Why illegalise them? Admittedly I’m rather lacking when it comes to laws regarding firearms, just the basics and such; are they at least legal in the hands of our officers?”

Read More

"Because if it has to be a secret that you’re firing a gun, perhaps you shouldn’t be firing it in the first place. Besides that, I wouldn’t go so far as to say I trust all our officers unconditionally…”

Serenity was well aware a large number of them were in the pocket of the Felt or the Crew, or could otherwise not be trusted. Hell most people couldn’t be trusted. Why would cops be any different?

"After all, the only person I trust unconditionally is you."

Although admittedly, she was slowly growing to trust Porosi Pyrope quite a bit. Which was a rather nice development. She just hoped it didn’t blow up in her face anytime soon.

She continued to watch occasionally giving him pointers and encouragement. He was doing quite well, and she made sure he knew it. It was a load off her mind that he was learning to defend himself. Not that she’d ever stop worrying about him.

"Humans are much the same. Squishier. Heart and lungs in the chest. Brain in the head."

In The Dark

He dodged the question.

The small part of her mind that still saw the Mayor objectively told her that. But she ignored it, and dismissed it as nonsense. As hysteria. She’d take what he said at face value. He’d never lie to her, keep things from her, keep her in the dark. He’d never. He trusted her, so why would he lie to her?

He had faith in her. He’d always said so. She believed that. She had to believe that for her own sanity.

Read More

lightofdemocracy sent: [pvt] William, a large part of your constituency are humans. And a large part of that part are human women. PLEASE try to have some idea of what you're talking about before making sweeping generalizations because you're making yourself look like a fool. No one wants to follow rules from someone who doesn't even understand the people he's governing.

wistfulvanguard:

wistfulvanguard:

[pvt] Well, if the public believe me a fool I can calmly point out that nobody can come to grasp the entire livelihood, biology and culture of each and every race in just eleven years.

Up until then I only had one source for human information, and that was a male. I believe it proves to the people I am open to new ideas, they’re aware that I do not know everything, and so in turn, I must be open to new aspects.

The public are aware I didn’t become the Mayor accidentally, Serenity.

[pvt]

Of course not, holy frog no! I take each and every one of my citizens opinions in account, unless they happen to be negative.

Our vision is the same, I’ve just being going about it differently as of late. You know about my past, correct? Well I don’t want that happening again, I have to do things a little differently lest it all end in death again, I’m sorry if you don’t understand my motivations…

YES, I do understand! I just can’t do everything in the manner you expect me to, and I’m sorry that you might not think of me as the man you want me to be. I can’t take everything into consideration either.
Nothing has changed Serenity, they are still our enemy.

[pvt]

I…okay. Alright. I’m glad. That’s true. Of course it’s true.

Nothing has changed.

I’m sorry

I just

lately it almost seems like you somehow don’t care about the people they’ve killed, I know you’re a controlled man, that you hide your anger better than I.

I don’t know what you’re thinking lately because you rarely tell me anymore and you keep many secrets. But that’s fine. You are not obligated to make me understand. I’m just a secretary.

I should not have questioned you.

Checking In

justicedraconian:

She reaches across Serenity’s lap with her cane and hooks the door handle, pulling it closed and then using it to knock on the back of the driver’s headrest.

"Quick time, go go!"

Midnight City cabbies weren’t known for being slow, but she was pretty sure this one was going to break records with how fast you could get someone to a location legally and when in fear of your life. Her cackling seemed only to make him that more intent on it. Good man.

"Of course I do! I didn’t even have to use a flare gun this time!"

Meanwhile, she taps lightly on the back of Serenity’s hand, turning to talk to her as well.

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Serenity yanked on her seatbelt. She was no squishy human of course, but sick days are for the weak and lazy, even if one did get thrown through a car windshield, tell your friends.

"You’ve used a flare gun to hail a cab before? Did that work?"

She raised her brows, and crossed her legs calmly, watching as the city zipped by.

"Winding Dragon you said? Or something to that effect? Sounds like human chinese or some such…"

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(Source: lightofdemocracy)

lightofdemocracy sent: [pvt] William, a large part of your constituency are humans. And a large part of that part are human women. PLEASE try to have some idea of what you're talking about before making sweeping generalizations because you're making yourself look like a fool. No one wants to follow rules from someone who doesn't even understand the people he's governing.

wistfulvanguard:

wistfulvanguard:

[pvt] Well, if the public believe me a fool I can calmly point out that nobody can come to grasp the entire livelihood, biology and culture of each and every race in just eleven years.

Up until then I only had one source for human information, and that was a male. I believe it proves to the people I am open to new ideas, they’re aware that I do not know everything, and so in turn, I must be open to new aspects.

The public are aware I didn’t become the Mayor accidentally, Serenity.

[pvt]The first situation was aired out, the desk fiasco won’t be an issue.

The drawing wasn’t even of my own creation, and no longer exists; they are genitals and the only race which would take offense to such a trivial thing would be the humans, and they are the minority.

That shopping excursion you mentioned was to get back said napkin.

I haven’t snuck around whatsoever, the last time I went anywhere with anyone was my meeting with Gar, apart from that I had Mr. Slick over for business.

I…I don’t see the problem 8?

[pvt]

So you don’t have to care what humans think because they’re a minority?

No I’m sure that’s not what you meant

just

Forgive me William I’m just…growing concerned and frustrated. I’ve always been sure our vision was the same and that we were on the same page and I’m beginning to wonder about that lately. I…it’s hard to tell what you’re thinking anymore. I used to thought I understood your motivations implicitly.

I don’t think I do anymore.

You understand that the Felt are monsters that nearly blew you up, injured many, and killed several of your supporters and that’s only including the charity bombing incident.

You agree with that sentiment correct? We’re…on the same page here, right?

Right?

lightofdemocracy sent: [pvt] William, a large part of your constituency are humans. And a large part of that part are human women. PLEASE try to have some idea of what you're talking about before making sweeping generalizations because you're making yourself look like a fool. No one wants to follow rules from someone who doesn't even understand the people he's governing.

wistfulvanguard:

[pvt] Well, if the public believe me a fool I can calmly point out that nobody can come to grasp the entire livelihood, biology and culture of each and every race in just eleven years.

Up until then I only had one source for human information, and that was a male. I believe it proves to the people I am open to new ideas, they’re aware that I do not know everything, and so in turn, I must be open to new aspects.

The public are aware I didn’t become the Mayor accidentally, Serenity.

[pvt]

Keeping an open mind and continuing to learn and grow is admirable but

that and the talk of you having sex on your desk, drawing penises on napkins and shopping with criminals

can’t lie to you anymore, William, the public isn’t going to take you seriously as a leader much longer, you’re making yourself a damn laughingstock and me with you

and you’ve been sneaking around and

just

what the hell is going on with you?

Checking In

justicedraconian:

"Wait. You can detach them? Is that a thing? I didn’t know that was a thing!"

No, she definitely knew Carapacians couldn’t detach their arms. The thing that she didn’t know what to do about was the thing happening with the hand touching and the food now. She had *meant* she would bring her food, later, after doing some research. Maybe interrogate some of the beat cops, then make them pick up the food so it wouldn’t be poisoned, then make someone else try it, *THEN* bring it by for Serenity.

She definitely did not mean food time now. What do normal people even eat? She couldn’t go back to the bakery by Ms. Bennet’s house, she’d already been there recently. Same with the place Sleuth took her, and where she met Paint, and where she got that cupcake, and the coffee.

Definitely couldn’t take her to the best bins in town, mostly because she doubted the Dersite would enjoy, partially because she wasn’t about to give up her main foodstuffs.

There were other places though, weren’t there? Yes. YES. The place near where she got her first dress. She’d never been there, but it was usually busy, and they cooked almost all the food in the same place, so it’d be impossible to poison without slowing down the orders and she’d notice that! Perfect.

"New plan!"

She lets go of Serenity’s hand to step out into the middle of the road, planting her boot on the hood of a cab that stops just short of running her over, her cane pointing at the driver through the windshield.

"You! Car man!"

Her eyes flick briefly to the people piling out of the car and retreating as quickly as possible without outright running, then back to the driver as she takes her foot off the car.

"You’re taking us to the Winding Dragon!"

Climbing in to the door left open by the former occupants, she motions to Serenity, toothy smile wide on her face.

"Well I’ve never tried to detach my own, but I’ve detached someone elses more than—…"

Aaaand the Commissioner was running off into the street. For a moment, Serenity is pretty sure she’s going to get run over, but the lucky soul stops just in time. Pretty good for a man no doubt having a heart attack.

Serenity was 99% sure this behavior was illegal. But she couldn’t think of the charges off the top of her head, and it was the head of the police force who was doing it.

So fuck it.

"…you really know how to hail a cab, Rosi."

She slipped into the car beside the other woman, trying not to smile too widely or show other signs of amusement or surprise. Though she knew Porosi would be able to tell.

She’d give the driver a hearty tip for his trauma.

(Source: lightofdemocracy)

The Crack Shot and The Mayor, who can’t shoot for shit.

wistfulvanguard:

"I um, sorry! There’s something thrilling about handling such a tiny, but destructive piece of weaponry; I think it’s the Dersite in me."

That was a foolish slip up, he had to cover and fast! Though he technically had loaded guns en masse before in the past…

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Serenity nodded, accepting his gun loading excuse easily enough. With anyone else she’d have a few more questions of course, but this was William and he was perhaps one of only two people in the world she trusted without question or hesitation.

"Yeah, that makes sense."

She looked mildly concerned when he flinched though. Her own soldier training had made such reactions to gunfire a thing of the past but she knew how easily they could put a rookie in pain. Or even make them ill.

"Yes. There are things you can put over your ears that I’ve seen the humans using…as for ways to make the bang less loud in the first place, there are gun modifications for that…but they’re not considered particularly legal."

She shrugged.

"Ain’t hard to guess why we’d want to keep tools to kill more quietly and easily out of the hands of the gangsters."

Nodding to indicate he should go ahead and try, she stepped back and observed carefully, ready to step in should he need help. But so far his form seemed decent. If a little unsure. He’d clearly been paying attention to her.

For once.

"…excellent work, William."

She looked proud.

Checking In

justicedraconian:

That…was a terrible promise. Porosi could think of a thousand scenarios she’d ask for help that anyone in their right mind should refuse, and ten-thousand reasons why promising that kind of help was a bad idea, especially for one’s life expectancy. Maybe that was why it meant a lot to her.

"As long as the rest of you comes attached! No detached body parts! They’re less useful than you’d think. Unless you’re trying to fend off wild roarbeasts, in which case they’re actually pretty useful."

They could *also* be useful in baiting wild animals, feral Alternians, or generally making people ill-at-ease, but that was neither here nor there.

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"Don’t worry, Porosi, I’ve got no plans in the future to detach any arms. I saw that happen to enough poor bastards back in the war that I know it’s not exactly a hell of a time…frankly, I’m surprised I still have both of mine to offer."

Serenity was grinning though. This was going well. Right? Right? This was how things went when they weren’t going absolutely pear shaped. Or so she suspected.

They could definitely absolutely be going worse at any rate.

"Haven’t seen too many wild roarbeasts in the city lately. But I’ll let you know if I do."

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(Source: lightofdemocracy)